Lighten Your Load

January 1, 2013 at 5:15 pm Leave a comment

“We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.”
– John Newton

Burden-251x300I’ll begin by sharing with you an often told anecdote.  A lecturer, when explaining the impacts of stress to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.  The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter.  It depends on how long you try to hold it.  If you hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.  If you hold it for an hour, your arm will ache. If you hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.  In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it becomes.”  She continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress.  If we carry our burdens all the time, no matter how minor they seem, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, it becomes an obstacle for us.”

Likewise, each of us is vulnerable to preoccupations, from the moment we arise in the morning until we fall asleep at night.  Knowingly or unknowingly, we accumulate these concerns and carry them around with us, picking up more and more without freeing ourselves of the previous ones.  As we do so, they become a greater and greater burden.  You may be surprised at how much weight you are hauling day to day.  And that energy can be better employed for things that really matter right now.

Fortunately, mindfulness provides an opportunity for you to lighten your load, to free yourself of these burdens.  By asking yourself to be aware of your experience in the here and now, to be fully in the present moment, you can release the energy you are expending on preoccupations that have been consuming your attention.  Additionally, as you do this, you can become more familiar with the nature of the concerns that pull your attention and gain insight into those patterns.  Recognizing these patterns enables you to allow the preoccupations to arise and pass, without grabbing hold of them, thus freeing you from their encumbrance.

In the midst of a recent group mindfulness practice, one of the participants, Donald, described an experience of his burdens easing in this manner: “And then, between one mindful footstep and another, I realized that I was free. In the moment, I had escaped the weight of the world. The bills, the projects, the politics…  None of that was with me in the now. Nor are they now. I am aware of them, patiently waiting their turn. But I’m no longer carrying them, in the now.”

To help facilitate this process, each time I lead an all-day retreat, as part of an 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program, I offer students the opportunity to lighten their load when the retreat begins.  As we check in, I encourage students to hand over to me, for safe keeping during the day, any preoccupations they are carrying with them.  To be clear, these are not burdens I add to my own plate, instead, I place them into a virtual, infinite storage space where they can be housed.  Students hand over things such as concerns about a work project, a child’s soccer game that is being missed, anxieties about health, errands that need to be run, and a variety of other tasks on “to do” lists. This process assists students by freeing up their attention so that they are more able to bring their awareness fully into the present moment throughout the day.  At the end of the retreat, students have the option to collect items they had entrusted to me, or keep them in the storage area more permanently.  There are very few people who end up taking back items from the storage area; only things that still require attention are retrieved.

You can do this for yourself.  First, recognize what you are carrying around with you – really stop and pay attention as you consider this. Then, before you go any further, out of kindness for yourself, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. (There is plenty of room in the virtual storage space for your burdens to be housed, so go ahead put them there.)  Start even for a moment, and if you can, refrain from picking them back up again.  (You may leave them in the storage area permanently.)  Repeat this process on a regular basis to continue to lighten your load.

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”
– Lou Holtz

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Getting Off of the Hamster Wheel of Life Tap Your Inner Resources Using Mindfulness

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Julie Forbes, Ph.D. photo
Julie Forbes, Ph.D.

STRESS MANAGEMENT
Consulting * Training * Coaching
Serving: Corporations * Groups * Individuals
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© Julie Forbes, Ph.D. and Minding Your Stress, 2013.

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